What I Really Meant to Say
by xJessicax
Summary: Lily accidentally reveals something about her feelings for James. Will she finally come clean, or will she continue to hide?


**Author:** Jessica AKA xJessicax

**Title:** What I Really Meant to Say

**Word Count:** 986

**Summary:** Lily accidentally reveals more than she wants to about her feelings for James. Will she come clean?

**A/N: **I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters, J.K. Rowling does.

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"No," Lily said simply. She turned back to attempting to transfigure her pheasant into a pumpkin.

"Well, why not, Evans?" James asked. "You know you want- You're not doing the wand movement correctly." He reached down to correct Lily's grip on her wand.

Lily slapped his hand away and gave him that famous emerald-eyed glare. "First off, my name is _Lily._ I assume your pathetically small brain can handle that. Secondly, you know perfectly well why I won't go out with you. I told you why two years ago. Actually, I keep telling you why and you forget. But seeing as you can't remember _anything_ unless it's practically glued to your brain-"

"Hey! That's not true! I-"

"Reasons why I won't go out with you," Lily continued in a louder voice, ignoring James. "By Lily Evans." She counted off the points on her hand. "One- You're arrogant and you think you can get any girl you want. Two- You're terribly mean when you want to be, particularly when things don't go your way." She looked over at Severus Snape, who was having less than a great time with his pheasant. "And three, this is also the largest reason so pay attention- You think you know everything." She finished with a small "Humph!" and continued with the assignment, whipping her auburn hair in James's face as she did so.

"Ev- _Lily,_" James corrected himself before Lily could glare at him again. "Is that really what you think about me?" he asked in a low voice, his head bowed.

Lily wouldn't look at James, so she didn't notice that he was speaking sincerely, and not acting pompous like he usually did. "Yes, I do," she said firmly. "You're always showing off and messing around and acting like a foolish idiot. Maybe if you didn't behave in such a manner then I would-"

"Well done, class," Professor McGonagall said, cutting Lily off. "I can see most of you have succeeded with this more complex transfiguration. Remember your essay on the complications of transfiguring animals into plants is due in two days. Class dismissed."

Lily swung her bag over her shoulder and walked out with her friends, completely "forgetting" about James. James groaned. What was she going to say before McGonagall interrupted? He had to know.

"Lily, wait!" James shouted. He left Remus and Sirius to chase after Lily. They didn't look surprised in the least. "If I got a sickle for every time I've heard him say 'Lily, wait!' I think I'd do pretty well without my parents," Sirius said. Remus nodded in agreement.

"Lily!" James repeated, continuing to shout as he ran down the corridor. More than once he received amused looks from students. "What are you looking at?" he demanded.

James found Lily with one of her abnormally giggling friends at the Gryffindor table. They were chatting away when he finally caught up with Lily.

"You know, Lily," Allison said, "It's unhealthy to not admit something you know is true."

"What do you mean by-" Lily began to ask before she realized what her friend was saying. "Oh…" Her eyebrow raised in warning. "Allison Fisher, I never have and never will _like_ James Potter, so let it go." She took a sip of juice. "Besides, he seems perfectly happy with his fan club, so even if I did like him we wouldn't be together."

"Well, James is-" Allison started to say.

Lily interrupted her. "Allison, no, James and I are just complete opposites. I've been debating this for a while, and I'm going to tell him that we just wouldn't work out."

"But Lily-"

"It's what I'm going to do!" Lily shouted. Somebody tapped her on the shoulder. "What?" she asked.

It was James. He looked confused and hurt at the same time. Obviously he had heard everything. "Lily, I need to know…" He stopped mid-sentence. "It's just, in class, you said…" He looked at Allison, who was watching him with interest. "Can I talk to you alone?" he muttered to Lily, grabbing her hand and dragging her out of the hall.

"What is this about?" Lily asked, pretending to act like she couldn't decipher what he was talking about. She knew that James had picked up on something she had said back in McGonagall's classroom. Why oh why did she say anything?

"It's about…" James said. He sighed. "In class, well you said that if I didn't act the way that I did you'd consider… I don't know what you were going to say." He cleared his throat. "Well?" he said, his voice drifting off.

"So you followed me?" Lily asked.

"Yes."

"Eavesdropped on my conversation with Allison-"

"Hey, I didn't mean to! I just-"

"Dragged me out of the Great Hall-"

"Just to ask me what I meant in class?"

"Um, yeah," James said sheepishly. Why was Lily questioning him so much? It was a bit annoying that she wouldn't just tell him.

"So you really want to know?" Lily asked.

"YES!"

"Temper, temper, James," Lily joked. "Okay, what I was going to say is…" She stopped. Did she really want to say this?

"Yes?" James said trying to get it out in the open once and for all.

"I was going to say that if you weren't such a twit," Lily said. She lowered her voice and leaned over to whisper into his ear. She spoke very quietly. "I would…" She faltered.

"You would… what?"

"I might… I said I _might_ so don't look so eager James Potter!" Lily took a deep breath that no one heard but herself. "I might actually think you were normal," she said quickly.

"Seriously?" James asked. His air of pomposity had returned.

"Again," Lily said warningly, "I said I _might._"

James laughed. "Okay, Lily."

Lily walked back into the Great Hall, leaving James. She smiled to herself. James need never know what she had really meant to say.

**Fin**


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